Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Review: 'Nashville' | 'There'll Be No Teardrops Tonight

What is this dance move that's happening here??
There was more than one moment in tonight's episode of ABC's 'Nashville' that was uncomfortable. Whether the feeling of your intestines slithering around will be worth it long term, we'll just have to see.

As the episode opens, Rayna is getting ready for a press junket and she's pretty out of it, replaying Teddy's divorce request in her head. Her manager, in a moment of foreshadowing or something, asks her "Ready for all this?" Rayna affirms she is the badass we all know she is. Not long after, she runs into lovable scamp Liam in the hotel lobby and she doesn't seem nearly as pissed at him as she should be considering his dirty dealing. Right before her show that night, Teddy calls her and they talk more about the divorce. She'd rather wait a hot second, but he wants to tell the girls the next night in case something leaks. Afterall, they are da daaa PUBLIC FIGURES. Anyway, according to ABC's crazy ass editing in the previews, Rayna has an all out melt down and collapses on stage. No. What really happens is this:  Muddy sound. Lens flare. Rayna looks around at the audience like... buh? And then the crew is like... buh? Deacon says "In 20 years, I've never seen her miss a cue." Well. Now you have. Two missed cues and she pulls it together, concluding the world's most low-key meltdown. I've had more Earth-shaking moments during Pre-Cal exams. At the after party, everyone is treading lightly, like R U OK? Liam crashes the party and Rayna tells him, "Well, look who shows up and I don't have my rifle." I love Rayna. Deacon pulls her aside. She tells him that she wants to talk to him, but if she goes there right now, she'll lose her shit. No good. Talk later. Liam continues to lurk. It's not weird that he's back in this episode. What is weird is that from the get-go, he seems to be on a crusade to get Rayna into bed, which is odd because their relationship has mostly been buddy-buddy (What would Harry and Sally say??). But yes, he drops many awkward hints at her, like how they need to step away to 1) drink 2) dance 3).... well. Liam figures you know what he's thinking. Rayna caves and they head to a bar where they do shots and she swipes his hat the way flirty high school girls do. Liam continues to drop hints and also tries to get her to tell him why she's mopey. She does. My world is crumbling! I am a hot mess! You imagine Liam likes 'em that way. They leave the bar. Outside his hotelroom, he kisses her and after some serious saliva swapping, she pulls away asking herself, "What am I doing?" Good question, Rayna. Good question. PS, this will be the beginning of an excruciatingly awkward wooing sequence. Rayna follows him into his room. Once inside the room, they bust into the mini bar. Side note: I can't understand how Rayna is not utterly blasted after so many shots. They sit across from each other. He looks at her. She looks at him. He sort of climbs on top of her on the couch while she's still sitting. I'm willing to put down money that there have been smoother hook ups attempted by 10th graders. It's just not pleasant. After a moment, though, Rayna steps into the bathroom for some lipgloss and a good cry. She just looks old and sad painting up her face in the mirror. I feel intense discomfort because EMOTIONS as she sits on the toilet crying. Quick cut to me on my couch:

Liam stands outside the door thinking, did not see this coming... and tells her "You think I've never been messed up on somebody's bathroom floor?" I don't want to know. They wind up sitting on the floor together, talking about her sadness over how much the girls are going to cry. He talks about his folks a bit. "Not going to lie to you," he says using my least favorite over abused phrase, "tomorrow is going to suck." Somehow they cheer up a bit and reforge the artist/producer bond. "We have half an album. We're practically married," he says. Sure.

On the other half of the tour, Juliette is on crack planning how she can tweak the show to work in her new material. She tells the crew they're like family. Manager man, whose name is apparently Glen, fights her on it and what's more, goes behind her back to tell the crew that everything needs to go through him, not her. Deacon, who was on purpose left out of the meeting, finds out about it anyway and confronts Glen. Glen pulls the douche card and is all I created her! Juliette nabs Deacon for a songwriting sesh and he sorta tells her what he found about about Glen, at which point she storms out into the hotel hallway, wakes up the entire crew and is all YOU WORK FOR ME, which sucks because the problem isn't the crew, it's Glen. Glen quits. The next morning, Deacon catches Juliette in the elevator because that's like his confessional booth, and sets her straight about her behavior. Don't think he (or anyone else) won't walk if she talks to him like that. Out in the lobby, he catches Rayna giving Liam his hat back. Suspicion.  On the sidewalk: "You have good night??" Deacon acuses. She tells him she and Liam are friends. "What do you want from me?" she asks. "Not a damn thing," he says. Glad we got that cleared up. Back at Juliette's house, she calls Druggie Mom and asks her to move in when she gets out of rehab.

Back in Nashville at Scarlett and Gunnar's, the show writers want to mess with your head, so Gunnar walks into the kitchen in a gradually slipping towel post-shower. The pair discuss the towel until Scarlett gets a call from Watty about Rayna wanting to sign them. Gunnar nearly loses his towel. We remain bored out of our minds. Later, Jason shows up at the Bluebird. Gunnar is like WTF. Sit down. Don't talk to anyone. But hey man, Jason just wants a second chance with his little bro.

Scarlett perceptively asks, is this your brother? Why is he not in Texas? Gunnar asks her if he can crash with them. She's like...

Anyway, Gunnar finally tells her his dirty little past, about how Jason took the wrap, yadda, yadda, yadda. She's like you were a kid, not your fault. Still, she allows him to stay one night. It's awkward back at the house. Jason thanks her. She tells him to take off his boots. I cannot blame her. But the next morning, he makes Gunnar's favorite breakfast and tells Scarlett about how he raised Gunnar. Ugh. Guilt. In fact, more guilt when he joins Gunnar and Scarlett on guitar while they work on a song to play for Rayna. It's a bummer because Jason is a music martyr. That Gibson was originally Jason's. Go ahead and cry. This is a safe place. After the song, Scarlett tells Gunnar that Jason can stay a few more days. But wait! Unbeknownst to Gunnar, Jason still has that gun in his duffle bag.

Meanwhile downtown, while walking into the Capitol building, Tandy sees that Peggy is calling Teddy. (Whadda cute trio of names, amma right?) She asks about it and her tells her to butt out. She calls Rayna to ask if everything's ok. Rayna tells her to butt out. Later, the girls make Rayna a cake because she's coming home. It is sad. Maddie overhears Teddy talking to Peggy on the phone about he only feels like himself when he's with her. Squirm. After Rayna comes home and she and Teddy deliver the bad news to the girls, Maddie tells her about the phone call. Rayna had no idea Peggy was involved.

Some stuff happened with Avery this week too, but I don't care and I figure you don't either.

Stray observations:

+ Seriously, could not care less about Avery. It's almost startling.
+ I just need Rayna and Deacon to get it together.
+ They say you should always do bullets in odd numbers.

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