Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Review: 'Nashville' Episode Twelve

Tis been a fortnight since we last lighted in Nashvilleland, so it's probably fitting somehow that the episode starts off in Chicago (?) where the Red Lips and White Lies tour has set up shop. As the tour folks walk into some kind of ritzy hotel, Deacon makes the first of several digs at Juliette and the scale of the tour. After all, he says, Johnny Cash only toured with three other people. Juliette makes an insecure twisty face. Deacon then gets into the elevator for the first of several times with Rayna and it's awkward and mostly silent. That night at the show, Deacon wanders around backstage like he's never been with a large tour before, and definitely not within the last couple episodes. He digs Juliette about "all the glitter," which makes me want to ask him, did you not know what her schtick was? Really? But still. He's getting into Juliette's head, especially as she sings a song that touts girls' apparently innate ability to get free rinks by flipping their hair and dance in five inch heels. All night. Not exactly a feminist anthem, you know? Yeah. She does too. Her manager dude does his best to keep her on a leash as she asks about the future of her brand after the show. Also after the show, Rayna makes another attempt to casually talk to Deacon. It's a no-go. Rayna does grab lunch with Watty, though, which is great because we were wondering where they'd put him. She exposits for the sake of the audience that Marshall will give her her own label if she signs of new acts... like those two crazy kids from that phone call in the first episode... oh wait, what? That was Scarlett? Deacon's Scarlett? Well shoot. Gonna have to talk to Deacon. Again, it's a no-go in the elevator. Anyway, Juliette continues her soul searching, griping to Deacon that she doesn't want to be a singing Barbie anymore... but what if that's all her fans want? He dishes out some advice that she should do what she feels, but the important thing is the doing. Whelp, next show she turns up all dressed down and explains to the audience that she wants to do something different blah blah blah and brings Deacon up to sing a song they wrote together. Everyone is like oh hey, cool.

That is, except for some critic from the Chicago Tribune who tweets that he wants his money back and other mean things. Manager man scolds Juliette and she is not unreasonably bummed.

Thanks for making music critics look like heartless jerks, Nashville. Anyway, while Juliette is brooding, her humble assistant begs an audience with the queen and says that she loved the song, and apparently others on the Internets did too. A new hope is born. However, manager man goes to the bar to rip Deacon a new one about trying to turn Juliette into Rayna and how Deacon is one to talk since he doesn't do much doing himself. So. Back to the elevator! Rayna is of course lurking there, and when she poses the question, what are you doing on this tour, he kisses her. And hey, before you get your judgmental knickers in a twist, let me just tell you what Teddy's been up to back in Nashville. Long story short, he sleeps with Peggy, who is split from her hubby. He's pissy about Deacon being on tour, as if it's Rayna's fault, and after some squinty glances at Peggy, BAM. They're in bed. She asks him, "What are we doing?" Well, hon, when a morally unsound man loves an emotionally unstable woman...Whatever. Back in Chicago, Rayna texts Deacon what I assume is a booty call (but I am unsure) and in a sweet bit of editing, we see Deacon grab his keys and walk out of his room. Someone knocks on Rayna's door. She answers it. And it's Teddy. Bummer. Even bigger bummer? He asks her for a divorce. End of episode.

But wait, we've got some things to tie up with the Bluebird crew. Gunnar is repairing Scarlett's garbage disposal– no, that's not a euphemism– when her landlord shows up asking for money. She's short this month because Avery is a jerk. We also start learning of a very thin premise that Gunnar is living with some frat-tastic d-bags for roommates. More on that later. You'll never guess what happens. Anyway, they show up at a show that the former Avery Barkley band is playing. The audience is not interested. The roommates bring an air horn. Charming. The band does not make enough for Scarlett to make rent. Gunnar says he'd give her the money if he had it himself. Meanwhile in Marilyn Maneater's lair, Avery  is sulky as she tells him of new prospects which include playing at Belmont again in the Spring for more money (I see you shining out there, Bob Fisher!) and shooting a segment for some show about his hometown. Said segment takes them infront of Scarlett's house and she comes out like what the hell are you doing, and I need your rent money. He's a jerk– did I mention that? And of course he won't be giving her any money. "You're pathetic," she tells him through her usual mouth full of marbles.  Later on at the Bluebird, Scarlett approaches Gunnar, who is grumpy about his roommates, about moving in with her. It'd be great! She even promises not to play banjo in the shower.

This is a great idea, them moving in together. They've definitely never going to sleep together. Not at all a thin plot device. Gunnar agrees and moves in the night that Avery happens to drop by with rent money, an apology about earlier, and a little humility... until Gunnar walks out of the back room and Avery gets pissy. You're taking my band, my girl, just remember I was there first. Gunnar responds you're lonely and you hate yourself. Avery punches him and Gunnar is all:

One! Two! Three! Four! In the span of four punches in a second and a half, Avery is bleeding on the floor while Scarlett basically kicks him out the door. Gunnar is a ninja. We'll see you next week.

Stray Observations:

+ Marilyn describes their relationship as "purely recreational." LULZ
+ Not sad about Teddy, though I expect Deacon will be mopey about having caught Teddy standing in Rayna's doorway unexpectedly.

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