Review: 'Nashville' Episode Eight

Liam wasn't really in this episode, but I'm a fan, so here he is.

Alright t.v. watchers, let's talk Nashville. This week was the big winter finale, supposedly a night packing highly explosive material. And you know what it was not? A night packing highly explosive material. I mean, my God. Anyway, let's get this thing going.

The episode opens immediately after Rayna and Juliette's duet last week. In the midst of flower-throwing, Teddy skulks into Rayna's dressing room and urges her home. But... but... the champaign. That night Teddy gets up his nerve and... lies to Rayna about the pictures. You know, Peggy just needed some friendly marital advice from a married male buddy in the middle of the night in a deserted park. Plausible. Well, Rayna doesn't take anything sitting down, which is why we love her, so she goes to see Coleman the next day where he gives her the pictures and says, "If that isn't an affair, I don't know what is." Admittedly, the pics are PG, but eh. Holding it together but still twisting internally, Rayna then goes to talk to her sister Lamar Jr. Tandy who is all baby doll, don't worry about it. He's a good man! Tandy lets it slip that there's a strategy meeting about this hot mess and Rayna barges in minutes before that bastion of good taste and reliability TMZ publishes the pics. But seriously, don't worry! Though, it sure does seem like something Rayna should be worrying about when she gets to Peggy's house and learns that the crazed woman (who earlier showed up at campaign headquarters and got re-jected by Teddy himself) has tried to off herself vis-a-vie sleeping pills. I don't really know what vis-a-vie means, but I was feeling it. Anyway. Surely people don't try to kill themselves over silly misunderstandings. At some point Rayna gets home and finds Teddy lingering in the dark living room and is like... so Peggy tried to kill herself... want to really tell me what's happening here? Finally he comes clean about the money and they have one of those fights where no one yells and you almost wish they would because this is freaking weird. Teddy does not seem to understand why Rayna is miffed at his criminal behavior. Trust = broken. While I'd like to say that sends Rayna into Deacon's arms, it doesn't. They do have a moment together IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN A PARK NOT BEING SHADY TEDDY where they just talk for a sec about stuff, like how Deacon's gotten an offer to play with a band called The Revel Kings, which is cool because they're all sober and Deacon's not really doing anything right now. Finally, Teddy has a presser and Rayna shows up to make a statement and to let Teddy know that she, of course, did this for the girls.

Meanwhile in Bluebird land, post "Ring of Fire" performance, Hailey suggests that Scarlett audition for a band that's looking for a lead singer. Hmmm... we are left to ponder this while we cut over to The Avery Barkley Band performing for Wyclef Jean, who wants The Avery Barkley Band to come to Atlanta sans The Band. But yeah, back to Scarlett. She tells Gunnar and he gets his knickers in a bunch. Why would you do that and try and split us, Hailey? I saw the way you looked at her, we've always been over! And then in one of the least satisfying television love confessions ever, he shows up at the Bluebird, tells Scarlett she's amazing, kisses her, and she mumbles to him "You can't go kissing people because you feel like it." Jim and Pam had two seasons, Niles and Daphne had about six, for the love of God, Seth and Summer had probably fourteen episodes of build up until proclamations were made. After eight episodes with the occasional pained glance, Nashville just let all the air out of what could have been a much juicier tale of repressed love. Later Scarlett tells Gunnar she wants some time to write separately and he wigs out a bit. Avery turns up to tell Scarlett that things are going well and bring her some champaign they'd been saving for when he made it... which they should have opened when she got the publishing deal. She is far too civil. BUT "Fade in To You" just got put on hold by some artist, so champaign-and-what-now! I'll tell you what, later on Scarlett declines Gunnar's request they sing together at the Bluebird that night. Instead, she shall continue to deliver beer to paying customers.

And then finally, the local newspaper the Tennessean makes a cameo in the hands of Sean who has stopped by Juliette's pad while running. Somehow, he invites her to church with his family the next day. Upon arrival, Tebow's little sister freaks out about Juliette and asks her to sing with the choir. Tebow is pleased. Later his mother reluctantly invites her to Sunday dinner. And the sad thing is that as out of place as you'd think she might be with all this God and family stuff, she looks genuinely happy... until Tebow's mom is like, you're trash, your mom's trash, and you shall not sully my boy. So here's what happens. Imagine now that she's been cast out of paradise. What is Juliette to do? I'll tell you what. Candles everywhere. Pretty dress etc. Invite Tebow over and... she proposes. BOOM. Cut to credits.

Is it possible to jump the shark after eight episodes? I don't know. What I do know is that was stupid. I'm not even that concerned if she's doing this to spite Tebow's mom (she probably is) or what, I just don't get it. If she had seduced him out of revenge or something, I could understand it... but marriage is just so overtly soapy. Now I'm just waiting for someone to slip into a coma. Well. Anyway, that's that. Discuss amongst yourselves and we'll see you in January.

+ Bummer that Liam was largely absent from this episode.
+ Another music-lite episode.
+ We popped the bubbly a lot this episode.