Most Depressing Christmas Songs of All Time

Though hyped as a time of unmitigated joy and good will, Christmas songs can be weirdly depressing. Every time I hear "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," I picture a guy sitting at a bar, crying into a beer with a tiny Christmas tree on the countertop. In a way, there's no better time to be absolutely miserable than when you're supposed to be happy. From the maudlin to the down right dark, I crowd sourced (many thanks to mis amigos) a list of the most depressing Christmas songs of all time. Enjoy?

+ The Christmas Shoes : NewSong
+ Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis : Tom Waits
+ One More Drifter in the Snow : Aimee Mann
+ All I Ever Get for Christmas is Blue : Over the Rhine
+ Another Lonely Christmas : Prince
+ 1913 Massacre : Woody Guthrie
+ Christmas in Prison : John Prine
+ Christmas in Jail (Ain't That a Pain) : Leroy Carr
+ Blue Christmas : Elvis
+ I'm Not Really in the Christmas Mood This Year : Foxtails Brigade
+ River : Joni Mitchell
+ Pretty Paper : Roy Orbison
+ Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) : Darlene Love
+ Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto : James Brown
+ Did I Make You Cry on Christmas Day (Well, You Deserved It!) : Sufjan Stevens
+ That Was the Worst Christmas Ever : Sufjan Stevens
+ I'll Be Home for Christmas : Bing Crosby


Here's a convenient Spotify playlist, but you know what? Don't listen to all these at once. My God. Throw this in there.