Review : 'Nashville' : 'She's Got You'

If your pea-picking little heart missed watching Nashville last week, this week's episode had all the ridonkulous drama that's feeding your addiction. (Or at least, I assume you're addicted at this point, because I'm not even convinced I would have stuck with it if I weren't A) from here B) TOTALLY committed to writing your recaps, loves. Let's get started.

Rayna may or may not be leveraging her *ahem* emotional grip on Luke Wheeler, shall we say, to makes sure Scarlett gets a spot on his tour. Once the papers are signed, she says she'll go hang with him. Business first, booty later, folks. Remember that. So, she ships Scarlett off and has to deal with the fact that Teddy, a breathing loaf of Wonder Bread, is getting married the next day and wants Maddie and Daphne to sing. Maddie doesn't want to. Teddy and Rayna have a scuffle. Maddie continues to harbor some serious stress about the whole I-have-two-dads thing. God bless. Teddy is not nearly creeped out enough that Peggy is insensitive to Maddie's reluctance because COULD JEOPARDIZE CONGRESS. Also, every time Peggy says something like "We can be a real family" and references their non-existent baby, a crayfish dies. And in case you didn't know, they are endangered and indigenous to Nashvegas.  Anyway, Rayna visits Deacon and basically tells him Maddie's been asking for him and no one needs to get hurt here, especially Maddie, so fly straight. The next day, Rayna goes to hang out with Luke on his massive tracts of land and talk about exes getting re-married and sharing custody. He offers advice: You need to find a coping mechanism. Quick cut: They're shooting guns at beer bottles, you perv. Gosh. The pillow fort shenanigans come later. Meanwhile at the wedding, Maddie decides to sing after all, but still feels sad watching Teddy dance with Daphne. She calls Rayna to come get her. She asks her mom if Deacon will ever look at her the way Teddy looks at Daphne.

Me, basically. 

Rayna apologizes for all the pain and vows to make things right. Maddie seems assured, for now at least.

To back track a bit, Deacon had a crap morning the day before. He walked into his own friggin kitchen to find Avery sitting there, having recently banged his niece and polished off the last of the milk. Deacon gives him a look that vaporizes Avery...

and we never have to worry about him again. Well, not really. Later on Deacon enlists Avery to play guitar for him at an open mic at some dive in Murfreesboro. They practice together. Avery sort of helps.  I just don't think the writers totally know what to do with him, so he keeps turning up places. Long story short, they find out that Shotgun Sally's is now a comedy club, but that's okay because Rayna calls about Maddie and everyone winds up a the Bluebird. Deacon performs and then gets to chat with his daughter. She feels better. He feels better. The Bluebird feels better. I feel better.

Over to Juliette. I've never liked her more. Upon launching her tour and having to deal with sketchy radio people, she does right by the female population. There's a creepy dude nicknamed Santa (don't ask) who likes to grope starlets. She explains quite fervently the situation (being female is not easy in a world of jerks) to Charles, who has surfaced once again and he gets Santa fired. Juliette wants to fight her own battles, but figures out a way to let Santa know that she controls his employment status so he better not be feeling up any more girls. Then the weirdest thing ever happens. Charles' wife shows up and says the following: "I know you're sleeping with my husband, what I don't understand why you're not sleeping with me." And then kisses her.

Also:

And:

I am drained. Rabbits Gunnar and Zoe apparently don't leave the house. Jeff still wants Gunnar's song. Gunnar makes a desperate fool of himself in front of the label head, trying to get a deal. He gets offered a mentorship with Luke (which puts him on the bus with Scarlett) and a chance to perform at the Music City Music Festival. So, basically intangible stuff and no money. Will gets into a fight with some jerks who were bullying Brent and his boyfriend in the hotel bar/restaurant. Then he goes and sleeps with Layla who is A GEM. Not really.

GOODNIGHT CLEVELAND. I'm out.